We were broken people living under loaded gun
by skibagrant
Summary: In which Desmond is a mess, and Shaun is oddly comforting. ShaunDes.


Note: I've never written for Assassin's Creed, but I've played all the games and yeah, I fucking love them. Desmond and Shaun are not mine, never have and never will be. Title is ganked from Linkin Park.

The first time Desmond cries in front of Shaun, it's out of despair.

"Desmond," he asks gently, "Why are you crying?"

Desmond looks up, confusion taking place of the hurt in his eyes for just a second. "I'm sorry, are you actually being nice to me?" he manages to choke out between sobs.

"Oh sod off, I've been known to be nice every once in a while." Shaun pauses. "What's going on in that head of yours?" Desmond looks up, tears welling in his eyes. "I just feel all the pain you know?"

Shaun cocks his head, and waits for Desmond to continue.

"When Ezio saw his father and brothers die, I felt that. Like a knife in the chest. I know it's not me and it's stupid to feel his pain like it's my own I just can't…I can't separate it."

He pauses and Shaun feels a pang of sympathy for him, and without thinking grabs his tan hands into his pale ones. "…and no one gets it, Shaun, no one. Lucy sees me as a science experiment and god knows what Rebecca is thinking…" he sighs. "And you've never liked me, so I honestly have no idea what you're doing here comforting me."

The Brit sighs and rubs his eyes. "There's a lot you don't know about me, Desmond." He grips Desmond's hand tighter. "Come on, let's go do something."

Desmond snorts and rolls his eyes. "Like what? Last time I checked we were stuck in an underground sanctuary."

Shaun's eyes flashed with something that Desmond didn't recognize. "Oh, I'm sure we'll figure out something." He cracked a smile before rubbing his eyes dry.

"Okay…"

The second time Desmond cries in front of Shaun, it's out of guilt and shock.

Lucy was dead. Lucy, the girl that saved him, the girl that he had feelings for, was gone. He could still feel the way the blade cut into her, like she was just a sheet of paper instead of a grown woman. He knew it wasn't his fault, that his actions were guided by another.

"Fucking Juno. "

The goddess took the one person that had helped him since he left the farm, since he left his family. How could she just kill her? Desmond could hear Juno's voice, could see Lucy's eyes as the life faded away.

The tears were sliding down his face before he even knew he was crying. There were no choked sobs screams of agony; Just the slight sound of sniffling, and the hum of machinery. It was then Shaun walked in.

"Desmo—"

Shaun saw him before he could finish his call. He saw the shell of a man who was fighting his own emotions. He slowly walked over to Desmond, and slowly sat next to him.

Shaun didn't say anything. He just wrapped the man in his arms as he let out the cries of a broken heart.

The last time Desmond cries in front of Shaun its out happiness.

Desmond is free, there's no more running, no more guarding himself like he could die at any moment. It was amazing. He could do anything—sleep comfortably through the night (it's a big deal), go skydiving, actually hang out with his family—Desmond couldn't wait until his life started.

But there was one thing that he needed to do, before all of that. He needed to tell Shaun something; something that could break him. He picks up the phone and dials a number that he's memorized.

"Hello, Desmond."

"He-hey Shaun. What's going on?" He sounds like a child, but he doesn't care.

There's a pause on the line, and he checks his phone to make sure Shaun is still on the phone. "What do you need, Desmond?"

The Brit sounds so proper, even on the phone. Shaun never used slang; he thought that idea of using anything but the proper words was beneath him. "Uhm, I just wanted to tell you something…"

"I'm listening."

He's nervous, his heart's in his throat and he can hear his pulse in his ears. "Can you, uh, come over? It'd be easier if this was in person."

Shaun sighs, and Desmond can basically see his head shaking. "Okay, I'll be there soon."

It takes Shaun 20 minutes to make it to Desmond's. Even though the time is a proven fact, Desmond can't help but pace his apartment floor and look at the clock every 5 seconds.

The knock on his door sends his heart into overdrive. Desmond takes a deep breath, and then opens the door.

"H-hi, Shaun."

Desmond can feel his face reddening and he hates that. Shaun simply nods, says "Desmond" and walks into the apartment.

Desmond closes the door, and he can feel Shaun's eyes on him the entire time. "So, what is it that you needed to tell me?"

If it was possible, his heart sped up ten times more. His palms were sweating and he couldn't think straight. Why did he think that in person would be better than through a phone call?

"Des?"

Shaun's voice was clear and knocked him out of his own thoughts.

"O-oh, yeah, I, uhm wanted to tell you—"

"Look, I know I'm supposed to hate you 'cause you are everything that I hate and vice versa, but I don't. I never hated you Des, and I wish I could've told you this sooner. What I feel about you is quite the opposite."

Desmond looks up from his feet and mutters "I—uh, what?"

"Desmond, I like you. And when I say that it's more along the lines of love, but let's be serious here, I'm British and we're not known for our obnoxious show of feelings."

Desmond was smiling so hard that his face hurt. "You…love me?"

Shaun sighs and rubs his face. "Yeah, I guess I do."

Before he can stop them, a few tears slip past Desmond's eyes, the smile still wide on his face. "Shaun, I love you, too."

Out of nowhere, Shaun pulls Desmond into a hug and holds him close. "I knew it", he whispers and then kisses Desmond's temple. He laughs softly and says again, "I knew it."

Desmond didn't cry in front of Shaun again.


End file.
